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Kingdom Hearts marathon - player's log - The Shinigami's Lair

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July 25th, 2008

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09:17 pm - Kingdom Hearts marathon - player's log
As Rupert, Nick, Jen and I settle down to begin our marathon run-through of 'Kingdom Hearts'; I have been ordered (by Nick) to sit and record how long it takes us to do every section of the game. As my 24 hour play of 'MouseHunt' (http://apps.new.facebook.com/mousehunt/) begins at midnight as well, I will also be using this space to make a note of how many mice I catch from that time onwards.

9.20pm - The PS2 has been turned on. We settled down discussing hooking up a live-feed and begging people to donate to us...

9.42 - The sword is chosen and the rod is shunned. Rupert has managed to hack, slash and wobble the screen through the tutorial section and we find ourselves on Destiny Island. On a more interesting note, our Dominos Pizza order arrived so we are far less hungry...

9.55 - Wakka's voice actor has been sorely mocked, logs have been thoroughly gathered, save points have been neglected, destinies have become intertwined and we glimpse Goofy and Donald for the first time.

10.26 - Nick contemplates suicide after a lengthy speech given by Selphie, Rupert is shamefully defeated by Riku in a race. This is followed when he rationalizes that there is beach on either side of the doorway and subsequently looses the raft and becomes disappointed to learn that Sora never wields a shotgun. Meanwhile, Sora has flashbacks to his youth and states that there is nothing strange about sealed doors in solid cliff faces.

10.41 - +1 cricket. Just what everyone needs when going on an epic quest. The lesser-seen Mrs. Sora appears briefly in voice only. Storm-clouds mass as Rupert completes his stint and Destiny Island is destroyed. Riku also goes inexplicably crazy and Sora becomes the Keyblade master. On to Traverse Town!

10.59 - Pluto makes an appearance and vanishes into the ether, just as Nick takes control. Cid appears, and Nick refuses to read his lines in a Texan accent. He does, however, finally save the game so we can now afford to die. Next bit of the game is hazy as we start randomly quoting various Disney movies and songs at each other and Rupert disappears to make his dinner. During this time, Nick gets horribly lost and Rupert decides that Cthulhu should make a guest appearance. Or Flubber as a summon. We should have created this game... Anyway, the game is saved and we face off with Leon...

11.11 - ...And Nick managed to beat Leon, only to see Sora collapse. Oh well. And Yuffie and Aeris make their first appearances. We've now seen virtually all of the 'Final Fantasy' characters. Cue long cut-scene that seems to make very little sense... The Heartless are those without hearts apparently. Never would have guessed that... Leon eventually leaves us to be attacked by an onslaught of heartless. Nick decides he will use up all of the yakult (health drinks) and pass over the controller just before a boss. Nice chap...

11.29 - Sora, Donald and Goofy are united at last to face off the giant suit of armor boss. Nick is now regretting using all those yakults... Though boss is thankfully quickly defeated. Nick is refusing to believe that Goofy is a dog - claiming that he can't be if Pluto is. If you have any answer to this paradox, please let us know. Sad faces are banned from the game, to our chorus of "Oh dear God!". We see the League of Evil for the first time. No one will ever guess who the mysterious figures here are. No way are they Jafar, Oogie Boogie, Ursula and Captain Hook. Oh no. Maleficent is clearly the greatest Disney villain ever though, so none of the others really matter. Flicking back to the party, we visit Merlin to learn our first magic spells and hunt out the blue trinities. Then all aboard the gummi ship. If it's called 'gummi' is it made out of small jelly sweets?

As it is my turn to play - I hand over my blog to Rupert. 'Alice in Wonderland Level'. Woohoo!

11:31 - Hello hello, Rupert here! i'm not used to Kim's keyboard, so this might be a mess. We've just achieved wonderland, having flown the delicious-sweet-ship through a gold saucer style arcade game. The conclusion that blowing up wonderland would make things simpler is probably accurate, though in typical computer game fashion, such a route has been denied us in favor of talking doorknobs and flying laser honeypots.
That doorknob's nose is as large as the characters...

11:38 - Anyway, the game. It's alice's trial - Off With Her Head! Damn right! Apparently there's no choice but to fetch evidence of her innocence. I'm just hoping there are no crazies who claim to be witnesses just to take part in a trial.
Being illogical can be explained by it being wonderland, handy that.
Beating stick time. They tell me it's a keyblade. bah.
Following the illogical comment, Yellow flower+potion->tree->rock->lily pad->evidence. Huh?

Random item gathering gives me plenty of time to ramble. Earlier it was stated that the beating-stick can be used to open any lock. Surely this could provide for all sorts of interesting areas! Not to mention the computer game - steal-everyone's-belongings tradition.

11:49 - The wonderland music has stolen our souls! I don't think it's an improvement over the No more Hero's theme.
Daffy/Donald duck is a blight upon platformers everywhere.

11:55 - After much running about jumping on tastytasty mushrooms, flowers hiding in camera blind spots, thrifty potion use and walking on tables, the time for the trial is nigh! All the evidence (literally, thanks to the guide) is brought forward. Box number three! Correct! You win a fight with the card-guards and an unfortunately placed windmill.
Tonight is consisting heavily of someone saying 'arg that (remembered event here) was so difficult' and someone else telling them they're wrong.

12:08 - After a near death experience, a strategic withdrawal has been called to gather healing items before the next boss. Shooting down Traverse town has been rejected as a feasible plan. mainly so as not to harm the poor moogles.
Hmm... shoggoth pizza.

12:17 - I think the concept of success via co-operation with friends is nicely summed up by 'Nick move yer 'ead!' and group stamping sessions.

12:28 - Boss time! Lamps, shadows and all that. it makes me think of a cross between the mimic/spiders from ff12 and that angel with the concertina paper arms. We can't remember what its called.
Gribble killed, its time to equip all the stuff we've gathered/bought up to this point but neglected to equip any of.

12:32 - End of Wonderland, the gummi ship sets sail for Traverse town once more. Control is passed to Jen and I'm going to throw the laptop Nick's way, as my lap is melting. Also, its more fun if we each take a turn!
As a final note. Sora jumps like a frog.

12:38 - Jen arrives at the Coliseum. Thwere is much jumping around the courtyard, and some only vaguely explained trinity-ing. This is now Nick incidentally.

12:40 - That's not Danny DeVito. We are all muchly disappointed. There is some fairly indeterminable Disney dialogue.

"We are worms" declares Kim. It may be a Hercules quote, but at this stage, who knows. The kid from the Sixth Sense begins assaulting barrels.

It's far too warm in this room, and the temperature of this laptop isn't helping.

12:45 - Jen seems to be having a few issues with the barrel smashing mini-game. This does not bode well for Cerberus.

Replaying Kingdom Hearts again makes me appreciate it's superiority over it's retconning sequel; here levels are a seemingly acceptable length, there is absolutely no requirement (unless you want every item) to revist earlier levels and hell, the non-Disney vocal cast is vastly superior. Particularly Aeris' voice in Kingdom Hearts II and Advent Children. That said, Kindgom Hearts II does have Christopher Lee, which is clearly ace. Incidentally, if you ever come face to face with the man, be warned that when he gets angry he is terrifying; listen to the Wicker Man audio commentary for example; he is absolutely furious about the fate that befell the film.

Hey James Wood has shown up (and it's actually him). Presumably for his research in Kingdom Hearts he visited the Underworld, and spent a short-while temping as Hades.

Kim comments that she can't really see the Heartless signing up for the Coliseum games, but in fact, that does seem to be precisely what they've done. Enter the Vincent/Cloud hybrid.

"I didn't know Ganondorf was a Disney villain" comments Jen as Rupert mistakes the Vincent/Cloud hybrid as Ganondorf.

"Get me my reward computer slave" demands Kim. This is for Mousehunt incidentally.

Anyway, there is the quite interesting story about Christoper Lee during the filming of Lord of the Rings; when Saruman is stabbed in the back by Grima, Peter Jackson was talking Lee through it, when he stopped him and asked; "Peter, do you know what kind of noise a man makes when he's stabbed in the back?"

Jackson says no, and Lee responds with "Well, *I* do".


12:57 - Cloud's voice-actor is still very bad. And Cloud himself apparently is capable of taking out Hercules. Not sure if this is a logical procession after Sephiroth, and unfortunately our version of the game doesn't have that brief confrontation that pretty much assisted with the eventual creation of Advent Children.

12:59 - the Cloud fight. Jen is attempting to defeat him. We took out Squall, I mean Leon, in Traverse Town, so we're going to try to repeat the success. There is some querying of why one would wrap bandages around the Buster Sword - other then it apparently looking cool. At least it's not as futile as in Kingdom Hearts II where the multi-sectioned Buster 6 is similarly bound up.

1:00 - Jen loses to Cloud. Cerberus sows up. Curses. Hercules shows up (played, it appears,by Sean Astin. You know the guy who played Twoflower in The Colour of Magic.

1:02 - Jen prepares the party for fighting Cerberus.

"Sora's a bit crazy" Kim comments.

Gah; Cerberus; one of the most outright unpleasant bosses in this game, few of the later bosses are on par with the frustration this fight provokes. Ursula perhaps, and maybe some of the mid-stages of Ansem.

And aside from being the name of the gun, why was Dirge of Cerberus so named?

1:05 - Cerberus kills Jen. I blame Vincent Valentine. Jen advocates running away and buying more potions. Back to the gummi ship; carved piece by piece by gumi artisans who work exclusively in the medium of gummi.

"This reminds me of space invaders" comments Jen. Despite scrolling the opposite direction quoth Kim, and looking nothing like Space Invaders quoth Rupert.

"So many enemies, so little time" sayeth Jen.

1:08 - Back in Traverse Town, killing Heartless; ah, one of those other fun points about Kingdom Hearts II; the Nobodies. What are they? They're what's left over when a Heartless if formed, but they also don't have hearts. So the difference seems to be mostly neglible.

1:12 - Jen grinds munny.

1:14 - still grinding. The necessity of me updating every two minutes is questioned. I feel it is vital to the journalistic nature of this piece. We need total coverage God Damn it!.

1:16 - more blasting with the medium of gummi. There is some horrifying discussion of the old Gummi Bear series. And listing of characters. I continue to sweat and wait for the not-really Space Invaders inspired gummi-them-up section to finish and more gun fighting.

1:18 - Kim sings the Captain Planet theme song.

Don't die is her advice to Jen. Conversation has moved onto Alvin and the Chipmunks, and what their foster father was called. Dave maybe?

Apparently, yes it was Dave. Kim gestures triumphantly at the computer screen.

"Jump, jump, jump, jump" Kim directs Jen.

Rupert discusses the impossibility of Cerberus actually managing to contain it's mighty incisors with it's lips, and therefore actually swallow anything. Kim wishes to quote Phoenix Nights; Get Back you bastard, I'll break your legs.

Jam a squirrel in it you bastard.

1:23 - Jen defeats Cerberus while on critical health. Hercules is a smug bastard.

1:29 - God Hades can be real tyrant.

1:30 - Jen takes over the marathon post and Rupert takes over playing Kingdon Hearts.

Yippy the stupid duck has managed to crash the Gummie ship into the Jungle level, no Donald for awhile.
ok I don't remember Tarzan swearing so much in the movie as in the movie.
Into the truck Sora lets use the tree slide to get to Jane.

1:41 - Hey Rupert don't hurt Mrs Potts and Chip!!

Time for the slide show.

1:50 - Jez Clayton is evil that smile just confirms it along with the fact he is insane just like the rest of us.
Ruperts the king of the swingers the Jungle VIP, but falling off the vines is not what to do.

1:56 - To the Hippo Mobil, away.

2:02 - Brian Blessed as the voice for Clayton is just soooo right.

Lets save the monkeys. Rupert levels up Sora. Quick equip Scan the most useful ability in the game.

2:16 - right that's all the gorillas save from the heartless monkeys. Dame those monkey and their bananas.

2:21 - Onto Sabor.

2:24 - Nick "you don't this to be Kingdon earts forever do you".

Quick go save now you have got rid of Sabor Rupert.

2:33 - Rupert "are you sure I have to smash this fruit. Oh."
Nick "ye of little faith."

2:40 - Stealth Sneak and Clayton one of the most irritating bosses in the game.
And now death.

2.50 - And with the Jungle neatly locked, I (Kim) am given my laptop back. Me writing in my own blog. How novel. The baton is passed back to Nick as we head back to Traverse Town so Cid can fix our ship...

2.57 - MOUSEHUNT UPDATE - Since 12.00am I have caught 2x White Mice, 2x Dwarf Mice, 1x Granite Mouse, 1x Bionic Mouse. Total: 6.

3.01 - Yeah, don't expect such detailed, regular updates from me. I'm not as pedantic as Nick, and I'm also getting tired and lazy. Anyway, finally back in Traverse Town, Jen guides Nick to the red trinities. I am declared inhumane as I'm the only person who has yet to save a puppy. Where does Sora keep all of the puppies he has discovered anyway? Nobody knows...

3.07 - Nick remembers to equip the Jungle King Keyblade. Debates continue as to whether it looks like a bone or a toothbrush. And apparently Cream Soda tastes of childhood dreams. According to Rupert, anyhow... After Cid sends us to Leon, Leon sends us to Cid. We take a detour to see the Fairy Godmother to claim the Simba summon spell.

3.13 - Nick is now lost. God only knows what we're supposed to be doing, but I think it involves the Winnie the Pooh book. Hopefully he doesn't intend to do that sub-quest. Insanity lies there-in...

3.16 - "Nick, where are you going exactly?"
"I'm trying to get behind it!"
"No...Where in general..."

3.20 - Rupert believes that Balthear and Goofy would be the perfect party. 'Nuff said...

3.21 - The book is delivered to Merlin, and we finally get Simba. Strong hearts can become gems apparently. My grasp of the plot is fluttering out of the window. And, at that, I've played the game before... Nick heads off to the gizmo shop. Something about bells is murmured.

3.26 - Riku appears. Either he's faintly sinister, or his voice actor is just bad. He seems unfazed by the anthropomorphic dog and duck, and vanishes without a trace. And the point of that cut scene was...?

3.28 - The gizmo shop is compared (by Rupert) to the Toytime Galaxy of 'Super Mario Galaxy'. Nick sinisterly asks him to never mention that place again.

3.31 - The bell is rung three times and Nick hurries to the square to fight the Opposite Armor...

3.36 - "He ends up with feet where his hands should be."
"And three nostrils..."

The Opposite armor proves little challenge (after all, we have the art of jumping up and bashing the attack button to a fine art) and Nick is now free to seal the Traverse Town keyhole and visit Cid about the gummi ship alterations, thus providing us with a way to get to Agrabah, Monstro and 'The Little Mermaid' level.

3.39 - Anyhow, Agrabah is my level, so I pass back to Rupert.

3:41 - Hello again! Rupert here, and thus I have been passed the flesh-meltingly hot laptop once more. As I type this, the controller is passed back to Kim, with some discussion of pot-centipedes and warp drives.
Nick is lacklusterly singing something about swimming. Its a tad scary.
So you too can enjoy the gummi ship music - 'Dododododo do do do do dododooooo'

3:46 - Agrabah get! Jafar yay! "full of holes for RATS to hide in!"

3:50 - Lost in the desert already. Only 2 more days now until we'll have to eat Donald. Ah, nevermind, we're back.
That being said, bail out! No potions.

3:56 - All stocked with approximately one gazillion hi-potions, zim quotes and doom songs, its back to the level at hand. thankfully having learned to use the warp function.
Tentacles! Rats small enough to fit in your veins!
oh! plot. There was some Jasmine and Jafar... that's about it.

4:05 - We're noting down series' Nck references now apparently, so adding Cthulhu and The IT Crowd (and its anti piracy ad).

4:10 - Aladdin and Genie have shown up. And carpet. not forgetting carpet. I'd forgotten genie's sales pitch bit. Donald's been inevitably ditched in favor of Aladdin.
References - Ghost busters, Clerks.

4:20 - considering whether to add references made by Nick before the keeping track began, but then I realized we wont have heard the last of Zim at the very least.
The first of 4(?) bosses bits for this area upcoming, the pot-centipede i keep heading about. And a promise of timed doorway release puzzles.
Is there something I'm not being told about the cure spell? No-one is willing to use it, and are suspiciously silent when I suggest it...

4;28 - Cave of Wonders, and it may be a tad late to notice this a good few hours in, but we've got the tv set wrong and they're all stretched... oh well.
Wait... we have to battle the cave? That's... odd. "Climb it's neck frills and sit on its nose, then hit its eyes" is certainly a strategy you wouldn't normally use.
One more hit!... 'Just use a thunderbolt!' Its made of sand though... Although if its true to the film, the eyes are made of a metal scarab. does being in sand count as grounded? I wouldn't have thought so, but...

4:37 - Run away seems to be the consensus. Save point get. Meanwhile Nick seems to have either been eaten by Kim's crab-monsters, or his computer, we're not sure, and not checking.

4:43 - Death. And Rebirth. Handy. We're reacquired a Nick, Kim was right, computer it was. The treasure room, presumably stacked high with priceless treasures and gold coins looks either like someone's been going around melting everything, or some form of delicious orange puddings.
Firefox is fading in and out of consciousness. i'm worried for it's health, but then ours is rather in question when attacking the fireplace seems like the best option.

4:49 - Jafar is evil, or so the profile of Genie's sagging sholders would have us believe. It's not really coming across that much, i mean, anyone would attack some random begger kid for a spangly-wish-lamp, its a given, so without the aladdin story build up, I can't really fault him that much. Of course that's ignoring the fact that he's been shown to be one of team evil.

4:53 - Eeeeeeevil beam! Did I mention Jafar is cool? And evil. Genie yells 'I'm really sorry about this' whilst attacking, which I can't help but be amused by. it doesn't really help the situation. Kim forgives him, since he's sorry.
Thunder doesn't work on jafar, who's flying. what do you know? Being grounded *does* matter to this game. 'course it could just be Jafar...

4:59 - Deaded again. Mainly because Sora wouldn't climb onto a ledge. he jumps like a frog, by the way. also, genie has no knees, so even if there where a 'knee break' attack, it wouldn't be much use. Plus jafar is flying.
Summon-simba is useless, he is returned to his crystalline prison where he shall remain alone in darkness until some other foolhardy adventurer decides to summon him to only be trampled(figuratively - flying, remember?) by some horrendous evil.
Oh, and Kim beam 'im - 5:04

5:06 - Wait, no, Jafar mk2 - Big Gribble Genie Mode. That's an extremely tough parrot. One dented lamp and some proxy boulders later, jafar is safely sealed away. Maybe he'll keep Simba company? Probably not.

5:14 - Jasmine gone and gotten lost, and apparently Aladdin can't be bothered to help out finding her, so he's sending Genie instead. Also, it seems legs are provided free with every freedom. If only we had that 'knee-breaker' now.
Some good guy being used by the evildoers honestly plot later, it's exchange time again. My legs rejoice. Also, I think that makes it time for cereal.
Leaving Agrabah - 5:20, over to Nick.

5:21 - Nick is in control of the laptop again. And fuzzy dammit. Despite the four Red Bulls, I am still not entirely awake, and probably just have to bear with it for a few hours until my body gives up on this sleep thing. Jen is off to check on the Dalatons and their terrifying number of minature replicas. Possibly in the hope of a free hand-out.

5:24 - #I hate every chimp I see, from Chimpan-A to chimpanzee...

"I forgot about the beast" comments Kim.

"Dogs" comments Rupert while preparing food. "Delicious lunch?" he then queries.

5:28 - Jen continues to roam Traverse Town.

We object to going anywhere near the Winnie The Pooh bit.

"That means we can't summon Bambi, crushing enemies between his mighty hooves and breathing fire from his nostrils"

Jen ventures in and then ventures out.

Also; I resent the claim I forced Kim to record all this. It was her idea. Not mine.

5:31 - Warp-drive engaged, we venture forth to produce hideous hybrid creatures of our prty in Atlantica. It would be vaguely Lovecraftian, if it wasn't all so colourful.

5:32 - I appear to be wrong about what's next;

"If you're doing this, does that mean that Rupert gets Atlantica. That'll be fun"

Rupert: "I get the impression that's fun with inverted commas".

We seem to have lost Monstro. How does one lose an enormous whale. In space? Oh, wait, there it is.

"Space whale" says Rupert.

Monstro consumes the tasty treat that is the gummi ship. This'll teach us to make spaceships out of sweets.

"It's a shame that we can't just set fire to Pinnochio when we arrive. It'll improve the level".

5:36 - Mid flashback;

"Why would anyone wish for a monster?"

5:38 - minor plot-holes in some Disney backstories are dissected. I am humourosly reminded of that VG Cats strip about the dissection of Winnie the Pooh.

"Urgh - it's undulaty" comments Rupert. The level is in fact quite disturbing. Not that it looks anything even remotely (as far as I know) like the actual internal organs of a gigantic space-whale.

Things are hit with the keyblade and then shower coloured spheres everywhere.

5:42 - Rupert finally at least looks at the strategy guide.


5:45 - Dwarf mouse captured.

5:48 - this level is difficult to navigate and not very good at all...

5:51 - Rupert here. Temp blogging while Nick gallivants about. for the first time looking at the guide, starting with the whale bowels was apparently a bad idea.
The walls are pulsating. Thankfully i think they're meant to be, rather than a side effect of white chocolate and cream soda.
"We're heading for the bowels!" That's *never* good news. although it means Kim wins at guide navigation.

5:59 - I ponder the happy-livelyness of the music in the whale bowels. It seems somehow inappropriate, like something from a comedy chase scene.
This also makes me wonder about the acoustic properties of whale bowels.

6:06 - Minor internet crisis averted, and back to Nick.

6:07 - Nick is back. And we're finally vaguely aware of the correct direction to be taking...

Pinnochio screams

"Someone's set fire to Pinnochio" sayeth Rupert.
"Finally" says Kim.

We see the Parasite Cage.

Kim: Awwww.
Rupert: It is worryingly cute.

6:09 - Parasite Cage defeated. Is it a parasite that's also a cage, or is it a parasitic cage. Does it in fact matter? Cosmically speaking, no, but I'm more awake now, so I'm going to ramble incoherently. Riku continues to be emo/bastardy/other. It is another case of good guy duped by neglible and not entirely compelling evdence, and then refusing to check with the alleged offending party in any way.

"You can jump freakishly high now. Conratulations" spake Kim.
"He no longer looks like a frog when jumping which is good" responds Rupert
"But he still looks like a frog when he lands." insists Kim.

There is some discussion of how you fit tents and cottages into a small chest. Rupert envisages them as some kind of flat-packed packaged object and searches for the relevant company. Jen suggests Aldi, giving rise to the idea that it's some insanely cheap flat-packed cottages. Rupert, was in fact meaning Ikea.

There is also some discussion of those tents in Harry Potter, and how the characters once spent 500 pages inside it.

"That's a cross exaggeration" insists Kim.

I insist that it's not far off...

6:16 - the scenic stomach of a space-whale. Lovely.

Rupert makes accompanying sound effects heralding the arrival of the Parasite Cage. Again.

6:19 - Parasite Cage defeated. Easy says Jen.

"It's daylight" observes Kim. "I think we're holding up remarkably well. And we've got plenty of game to go".

6:20 - Plot. Riku does not appear to be brightest person; observes Rupert: Kairi's current condition is due to the heartless, and Riku has now been given power over the Heartless... by Maleficent. He really doesn't appear to be paying attention.

6:24 - Traverse Town. Next is Atlantica, and we've lost track of the order of things. Rupert is up for the controls next, and Jen is back on blogging duty.

6:33 - Atlantica duck, a cross between an octopus and a duck, "terrifying" comments Nick.

6:36 - lessons on how to swim by Sebastian just before the squid heartless attack. Right follow the tridents to nd the ruler of the sea. "that's not very enemy proof" says Rupert.

As we plow through to Triton's place Nick falls asleep even having 4 red bulls, he is weak unlike the rest of us who are tired but will never give in to sleep.

6:58 - Enters the first appearance of Ursula, flotsam and Jetsam in this stage, the evil laugh follows. She will never win now, if you laugh evilly you will fail to rule the worlds. mwhahahaha "cough".

7:08 - there is no key hole yells Triton, using the friendly dolphin we reach the shipwreck and fight the shark for the crystal trident.

7:36 - What no keyhole remarks Ursula, begins the boss battle that can cause problems and has in the pass on a similar marathon a couple of years ago.

7:58 - Ursula form 1 goes down with a large amount of frustration at having to hit the cauldron just to be able to attack her. Now to save before Ursula form 2.

8:05 - oh for Christs sake please just attack not just swim to the edge of the screen.

8:25 - Ursula finally goes down after tries but we made it.

8.33 - Atlantica is completed, a new keyblade is gained and Jen looks sleepy. It's my (Kim's) turn to blog again :)

8.39 - MOUSEHUNT UPDATE - Since 12.00am I have caught 3x White Mice, 1x Grey Mouse, 5x Dwarf Mice, 2x Steel Mice, 3x Granite Mice, 4x Bionic Mice, 1x Gold Mouse. Total: 19.

8.43 - Much time is spent in Traverse Town equipping, re-equipping and buying grotesque amounts of hi-potions. Hi-potions are medicine, right? So they amount that we have consumed would equate to serious drug abuse? Anyway, Nick pilots the gummi ship to Halloween Town.

8.49 - "Hang on...Why have you turned into zombies?" Oh Rupert, how little you know. Little attention is being payed to the plot as we discuss 'The Corpse Bride' and try to recall the names of past anime soc members based on their haircuts... The music of Halloween town is also criticized as Nick thinks it sounds weird without the operatics.

8.52 - Jen is now dozing off and Nick has finally located the lab and Jack Skellington.

8.56 - Nick's currently quoting 'Pirates of the Caribbean'. Let this be officially added to his list of subjects for the evening. And reading back on Nick's blog, I asked him if he wanted a blog of the evening and he replied the affirmative, even ensuring that other people add to it when I'm playing (hence it's passing between all of us). Not as such my idea then...

9.02 - There are much less witticisms. People are starting to flag a little now. Nick and Rupert discuss if Lock, Shock and Barrel are voiced by 'Rugrats' people. If you know, please tell us.

9.06 - "Damn incorporeal enemies..."

9.09 - Nick is lost, so Rupert is trying to locate him using a walk through. He finds torture chambers... Nick fails to appease any of the white mushroom enemies.

9.13 - We discover surprise within a pumpkin. Go figure...

9.18 - As I don't think I'll be missing much, I'm off to clean my teeth while Lock, Shock and Barrel escape in a bathtub...

9.29 - Back, and I have no idea what Nick is doing...

9.33 - I step out of the room for two minutes to make a cup of tea and Nick kills Sora. Still have no idea where Nick is, but they certainly haven't reached Oogie Boogie's manor yet.

9.35 - Now they're at Oogie Boogie's manor...

9.40 - Boys and girls of every age
Wouldn't you like to see something strange?
Come with us and you will see
This, our town of Halloween

This is Halloween, this is Halloween
Pumpkins scream in the dead of night
This is Halloween, everybody make a scene
Trick or treat till the neighbors gonna die of fright
It's our town, everybody scream
In this town of Halloween

I am the one hiding under your bed
Teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red
I am the one hiding under your stairs
Fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair

This is Halloween, this is Halloween
Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!

In this town we call home
Everyone hail to the pumpkin song
In this town, don't we love it now?
Everybody's waiting for the next surprise

Round that corner, man hiding in the trash can
Something's waiting now to pounce, and how you'll...
Scream! This is Halloween
Red 'n' black, slimy green

Aren't you scared?
Well, that's just fine
Say it once, say it twice
Take a chance and roll the dice
Ride with the moon in the dead of night

Everybody scream, everbody scream
In our town of Halloween!

I am the clown with the tear-away face
Here in a flash and gone without a trace
I am the "who" when you call, "Who's there?"
I am the wind blowing through your hair
I am the shadow on the moon at night
Filling your dreams to the brim with fright

This is Halloween, this is Halloween
Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!
Halloween! Halloween!

Tender lumplings everywhere
Life's no fun without a good scare
That's our job, but we're not mean
In our town of Halloween

In this town
Don't we love it now?
Everyone's waiting for the next surprise
Skeleton Jack might catch you in the back
And scream like a banshee
Make you jump out of your skin

This is Halloween, everybody scream
Wont' ya please make way for a very special guy
Our man jack is King of the Pumpkin patch
Everyone hail to the Pumpkin King now

This is Halloween, this is Halloween
Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!

In this town we call home
Everyone hail to the pumpkin song

La la-la la, Halloween! Halloween!
La la-la la, Halloween! Halloween!
WHEE!!! Ha Ha Ha!

Nick is finally fighting Lock, Shock and Barrel, having fallen from the tree several times...

9.42 - The battle is won! Next, on to Oogie Boogie's casino, if we can locate the entrance. The walk-through is instructing us to fight and torture Oogie Boogie. Isn't this game supposed to be suitable for young gamers?

9.46 - The green door has been located. All there is to do is clear the gribblies surrounding it...

9.48 - Oogie Boogie swallows Jack's artificial heart (no kidding) and starts off his torture device/roulette wheel thing. Will Nick survive it? Will he?

9.50 - Whether he does or not, I must say that this is the most exciting arena. Rupert seems to understand how to defeat Oogie Boogie, but Nick still hasn't succeeded in hitting him...

9.52 - The first stage of Oogie Boogie is a heap of maggots and sackcloth on the floor and we have our heart back. Now for the fun part...

9.54 - A brief cut scene later and we have to destroy Oogie Boogie's seven dark blobs. How strange. Rupert is happy to see the blobs as they resemble 'generic RPG slimes'. Well, each to their own...

9.57 - Heal yourself a tad, suggesteth I. No, Nick Replies, I am strong and require healing not. Nick dies horribly seconds later. From this we have learnt that healing is necessary during boss fights.

10.00 - Nick gets Sora stuck in a glitch, floating in midair. All of us giggle. Our exhaustion has clearly affected our mental states... A few seconds later, we are serenaded by 'Tank!' as my alarm clock goes off. Good morning, everyone.

10.05 - "It's obviously a tree. What would you call it?"
"A horrible mishmash of man and mansion."
"How many mansions have roots?"

10.06 - "How many is that now?"
"More than three."
"Exactly three..."

10.07 - "And now I kill Oogie Boogie to the jazz tones of the Pillows..."

10.08 - "You like this route don't you. This utterly stupid route with jumps you can't possibly make."

10.10 - The battle is over, making it our longest boss fight to date. It's always the straight-forward ones... The Halloween town key hole is locked, the power of gravity is gained and Jack gives us a shiny new keyblade. It is now Rupert's turn to blog, as I take control for Neverland...

10:14 - Yo. Rupert again. Tank doesn't realy go with Kingdom Hearts, but nevermind. The Halloween town keyblade looks cool, but it's not very brightly coloured. Quick contemplation of the potion supply and off to Wonderland on our gummi ship... I'm fairly certain I'm still sane, but after that sentence I'm no longer sure.
The obsticals in space this time make me think of Timmy Mallet's squigy hammer.

10:19 - Ship get, and Riku + dark Sora. Kairi finally appears in person for the first time in quite a few hours. She looks a tad comatose.
Poor Donald, only useful as padding. And down presumably.
Peter Pan is a tad creepy. Being locked in a room with him is definitely not a good thing.

10:29 - Riku's the true hero here. Save the girl No Mater The Cost! Not crazy in the slightest. Storing a captive Peter Pan with a bunch of other random warriors seems like a good way of loosing your prisoners.

"That's not a mouse, that's a catamaran!"
Nick didn't agree.

10:34 - Shadow Sora battle. They're kinda cool, but seem awfully laid back fer being in a battle. Flailing wildly with a weapon is once again the answer to our woes.

"Pick a door, go through it, it's probably a toilet."
"That's probably a bit risky isn't it."

10:40 - Wendy is found and Peter Pan wastes no time ditching the party. Traitor.
"It is buttered the steggy way!"
Dumbo summon is the bestest thing there is. Flying around on a blue elephant, blasting enemies hydro-pump style. He deserves exemptions from the crushing darkness...

10:45 - Aaaanyway

In duo - "That's right folks, now I'm a flyin' talkin' donkey!"

One historically inaccurate planking later, Sora has the happy-place flight going and it's boss time.

"They're not sharks, they're on handgliders!"

10:53 - "You found London!"
Hook's thoroughly beaten, on to fishing puppies out of sealed boxes on tower ledges in London. There was no slicing involving clock hands, disappointing.

We've discovered Riku is actually Hook/Tetsuo (both?) or would have been if, as per our advice, he'd stuffed his arm into a giant keyhole to try and manually move the tumblers.

11:02 - Handover time. I've been a tad lackluster this time. Blah. more sugar.
Also - "impaled on your own remote! How shameful"

11:03 - Nick has control of the laptop again. Bwahahahaha. I will take this opportunity to
examine and critique the underlying philosophy and themes that run through both Kingdom Hearts. I will also-

Gah. More Disney believe in yourself junk.

Also; Sora appears to be traversing hyperspace like in Cowboy Bebop. Without a spaceship. For shame, Sora. For shame.

There appears to be some backstory going on here, but it's not that important (Or is it. OR is it. OR IS it. OR IS IT. Yes. It is).

To Hollow Bastion then. Kim fills in Kairi's dialogue in the absence of the actual character. Kim points out that she still has no idea what happens in the game. Especially at the end. In fact, what the hell is going on the end? Behold Kingdom Hearts?! What the hell does that mean, and what the hell is it?! Not even the sequel explain that. Especially with the ret-conning and the "I'm Ansem and so's my wife" -ness.

Kim offers around the vaguely appropriate snack-food of gummi bears. Jen goes and messes with the gummi ship designs.

11:13 - Actually to Hollow Bastion this time.

I am still unsure what is actually going on in these gummi-ship sections. What is this stuff in the ether? What are these ships? Whose flying them? So many unanswered questions. And again unanswered in the sequel...

11.17 - Ha ha! Nick foolishly leaves to feed the Triops so it is Kim's turn to briefly blog, as I sit here eating strange hard boiled sweets!

11:20 - plot happen. Riku states that only one can bear the keyblade. There is a chorus of "There can be only one!" Although; it will turn out in the sequel that there can in fact be at least three. The Highlander sequels are incredibly bad though For those who have not had the displeasure of seeing Highlander 2, despite the presence of Sean Connery, the film is bizarre and non-sensical. Abruptly the immortals are aliens and not dead at all. And there's a good deal more silliness to boot.

11:23 - incidentally, this is Nick blogging again. Rupert complains about the disorientation bubbles.

There is some talk of activating a Trinity with Sora, Beast and a Heartless. Rupert makes the good point of how can Sora open the chests with his wooden sword, since the keyblade was meant to facilitate that.

There is some bizarre talk of furnishing the house with two metres of jelly, and people coming home and finding us embedded in it at various points in the house. Jen equates this to Mosquitos in Amber like in Jurassic Park. We hope that this wold confuse Anna when she returns. We're relatively sure she wouldn't expect it.

11:28 - Kim: honestly, who would fight their way through the enemy stronghold with a wooden sword.

Jen: I would. But I'd line it with lead.

Kim: It's not really a wooden sword any more then is it?

11:31 - Kim: a diamond mouse worth 1195 points is standing there mocking you. And it's stolen all your cheese. And your money. And the trap just to add insult to injury.

Kim queries that despite Riku taking Sora's *original* keyblade, Sora doesn't just use one of the five or so we've acquired thus far...

11:34 - Riku puts on his Power Ranger outfit. Or possibly Raiden.

The Three Muskateers seem to have reformed.

Rupert: Nooooo! just when I'd got rid of you!

The keyblade changes form in transit.

Sora: I don't need a weapon. My friends are my weapons.

He's not going to get far without the keyblade...so it's just as well he randomly gets it back now.

11:39 - Jen seems to be regretting winding up with this section of the game.

Kim: If anyone wants me, I'll be in the angry dome.

It's that place from the vision he had. It's like that drug trip I saw in that movie, while I was on that drug trip.

Jen presses the big red button. It'll destroy us all! or just say "Please do not press this button again". One of the two.

11:45 - Rupert: Why would you hide a bookshelf behind a bookshelf? The only reason I can think of is to hide dodgy books.

Kim: So it's the porn shelf. The porn section of this ancient library.

Rupert points out the annoyances inherent in a library setup of this type.

11:59 - we've been reading over the blog, and thus haven't been paying attention to where Jen is. Still in Hollow Bastion from the looks of the place. It's a horrible place, too long, too convoluted and too complicated.

12:01 - Jen appeals to Rupert from some precise directions.

12.04 - Nick is board of blogging, so Kim has returned again.

12.07 - MOUSEHUNT UPDATE - Since 12.00am I have caught 3x White Mice, 2x Grey Mice, 6x Dwarf Mice, 5x Steel Mice, 5x Granite Mice, 4x Bionic Mice, 1x Gold Mouse, 2x Diamond Mice, 1x Ninja Mouse. Total: 29 + 1x Burroughs Laboratory Map Piece.

12.13 - "It's Hollow Bastion. Come stay here; it's dull."

Conversation from here shifts towards what it would be like to stay in Hollow Bastion if it was a hotel. Rupert and Nick settle on the fact that you would have to be very brave to use the laser lifts.

12.14 - "Is any of the magic set to hotkeys?"
"Yes, but only attack spells."
"Wouldn't it be an idea to set one to healing?"
We had been saying this for sometime, and yet no one has bothered to do it...

12.20 - Riku's voice has become strangely echoey. Maleficent fails to notice, yet finally works out that Kairi is significant after all. And thus Jen is plunged into battle with Maleficent, and Rupert announces that being Mistress of All Evil is something we should all aspire to...

12.26 - Maleficent in human form is defeated. Each character gains two levels for doing so. Jen is grateful to finally gain a save point. Nick is confident that we will be our previous record of beating the game in 19 hours, as we've now been playing for fifteen solid hours...

12.28 - Riku brutally stabs Maleficent in the chest, morphing her into the evil black dragon. Nick mumbles something incomprehensible about Alice and keys as Jen prepares (once again) for battle...

12.31 - Sora is struck down by the beast's writhing tail; his broken body hurled like a broken puppet across the ruined hall where it is dashed cruelly against the wall. Next time, Jen vows to summon Tinkerbell right away...

12.33 - We are once again watching Riku stab Maleficent. Deja vu. Must be a glitch in the Matrix.

12.34 - "Now the trick is not to be on fire". Words of wisdom from Nick that we can all stand to live by. He continues to sing 'Fire in the Disco' but everyone pretends not to listen.

12.42 - The dragon is slain! Rupert and Jen are impressed that Riku cleans up the splattered Maleficent from the floor so Sora doesn't have to. After quickly saving the game, the plot is explained to Sora by Riku/Ansem. Apparently he has a woman's heart, my lord. Goofy and Donald are banished from the area as Jen faces off on the hardest boss of the three...

12.51 - Riku is in the yellow and Jen's fast footwork saves her from almost certain death. We are all highly impressed...

12.54 - Jen gets him into the green, but unfortunately perishes when she runs out of mana as Riku unleashes an attack that makes him invincible. This means we have to watch the cut scene again. Nick is making bad puns involving my name. If he doesn't desist I shall bludgeon him to death with this laptop.

12.59 - Jen begins her epic face-off with Riku/Ansem once again...

1.06 - Jen is slaughtered by Riku's zippy attack once again. Rupert heads into the keyhole room to give it a go himself...

1.13 - Laptop is making Kim hot so she heads for a cold shower and passes the blog to Nick in the meanwhile...

1:14 - Nick takes back the laptop. Riku is a bastard. Let's cram a squirrel in him.

1:16 - And promptly passes it to me, Rupert. i just finished being killed by Riku for the first time. It's yet to be seen if I'll get the honor again. Jen's taking her third go, and we need to force the other's to try.

...They've both fled the scene. Highly suspect.


You never get player characters doing the many-as-one voice bit. only ever evil folk possessed by some great power, or not-quite-human sage like beings (who usually glow white).

Other observations... The keyhole portal thing looks like a child's homemade staind-glass window made from sweet wrappers.
The power of Heart!(tm) and implying there's no way she can lose makes for ...
wait for it...
Sooo very close...

After a mere 4 attempts, Jen is victorious over the forces of spangly-evil-magic (his attacks were very pretty, if massively nasty)

1:34 - in the cut scene still, Sora just committed suicide. That's rather inconsiderate of him.
Oh look, Riku's a good guy again. I'm not convinced.

Sora-gribbly! Makes me think of Ico. Even pathetic heartless state, he still jumps like a frog!

1:45 - Home safe and sound, except Pooh bear has shown himself to destroy our poor protagonist and / or Nick's mind.

the fridge blemished my pink.

It's my turn next apparently. The blog sequence has been broken. Over to whoever takes the laptop.

1.53 - Kim has reclaimed the laptop, thus become chief bloggerer.

1.56 - AFter much debate, we decide to return to Traverse Town to follow the plot, rather than go to the Coliseum to gain levels.

2.02 - MOUSEHUNT UPDATE - Since 12.00am I have caught 3x White Mice, 2x Grey Mice, 1x Brown Mouse, 7x Dwarf Mice, 6x Steel Mice, 5x Granite Mice, 5x Bionic Mice, 1x Gold Mouse, 3x Diamond Mice, 1x Ninja Mouse. Total: 34 + 1x Burroughs Laboratory Map Piece.

2.03 - Kairi - "You know what's funny?"
Nick - "Your face!"
Nick seems to think that Sora has become a bastard between scenes. We're into the plot bit in the waterway. Saccharine stuff, plus cameras angled at the breasts of a 15 year old. The ratings shoot up once again, and somewhere Jack Thompson is crying. Urgh. At least we get a keyblade out of it.

2.07 - Arguments break out over which is the quickest way to Cid. Men can't take simple directions, even in a fictional setting.

2.14 - Off to the Coliseum to do some grinding...

2.28 - Midway through the Phil Cup and Rupert is disappointed that the enemies are not healing him. Methinks it would be slightly less of a challenge if they did...

2:32 - Rupert again. I'd defend myself, but it'd sound irate in my fatigue, so nevermind.
The Phil cup consists it seems, of waves of minor gribbleys whilst some mysterious being gradually constructs a giant suit of armour, it would seem. Also for you to fight.

2:43 - Phil cup complete. Turns out you never fight the full armour, just its limbs, then its torso. Guess it makes sense since its limbs were trashed...

2;47 - Onto the Pegasus cup, nighttime and nastier griblies. A re-equip of potions and we're good to get slaughtered in the first round.

2.54 - Kim here. Nick's made it to 4th place in the Pegasus cup. Fighting Black Mushroom things. Nasty...

2.59 - Final fight in Pegasus cup - Nick vs. Leon and Yuffie. Tragic loss... So we're heading back to Hollow Bastion.

3.06 - Back at Hollow Bastion, we begin the trek back through the castle...

3.19 - Fears amount that we will loose Beast as a cutscene shows him reunited with Belle. He is apparently still tagging along though. Where is he hiding Belle then? On second thoughts, perhaps we don't need to know that...

3:28 - Rupert again. I was about to succumb to the weekness of sleep when Kim lobed a laptop at me. Lets see... there were some energy beam elevators, some princesses, and... i can't think of a lot else offhand.

3:33 - Nick once again curses his fate, having been ambushed by a small group of fluffy(ish) puppies. There was a blade of 'immense power' though, so its all ok.
I'm not winning the fight against my eyeballs, everything is rather unfocused, so I'm gonna try and pass the laptop on.

3:42 - Noooooo! I am shacked by the laptop once more. We are all tired, and hungry. I go to make some proper food.

3.43 - Nick lasted a whole ten minutes before rushing off for food. This is a very hungry and tired Kim, trying to stay awake while I watch Rupert pilot our gummi ship to the end of the world. I've had so much sugar to keep me awake, I think I have diabetes now...

3.47 - Goofy claims that even if the world ceases to exist, they'll survive. Rupert wishes that he had such confidence. Apparently, the End of the World would be populated by kittens if Rupert had his way...

3.58 - "Kill it first! Kill it first!" is Rupert's response to the angelic looking heartless. He's still fighting his way from treasure chest to treasure chest on his way into the light...

4.02 - MOUSEHUNT UPDATE - Since 12.00am I have caught 3x White Mice, 3x Grey Mice, 2x Brown Mice, 8x Dwarf Mice, 6x Steel Mice, 6x Granite Mice, 5x Bionic Mice, 2x Gold Mice, 3x Diamond Mice, 1x Ninja Mouse. Total: 39 + 1x Burroughs Laboratory Map Piece.

4.03 - Not even death fazes Rupert as he faces off the last Behemoth before the light. We're closing in on hard bit at an alarming rate...

4.13 - Rupert is nearing the lab now. Facing off with a mere 11 Invisibles. Nothing too it. It is now clear, however, that we will not break the previous record unless we complete the game in the next 8 minutes...

4.15 - One heart to rule them all! KINGDOM HEARTS! No, no, it doesn't make any sense at all. On discovering this, Rupert is promptly attacked.

4.18 - Finally Rupert is faced with Chernabog, the demon from 'Fantasia'. He dies pretty much instantly. Music is nice though...

4.31 - "So long as you stay out of his wingspan you're fine."
"Pity he has such a big wingspan."
"Yeah, if he had little stubby wings it might make things a bit easier."

4.40 - Nick's attempt to beat Chernabog now. Rather than avoiding attacks like Rupert does, Nick flies straight at the demon's face and attacks it head on...

5.02 - Chernabog is finally defeated by Rupert. On to the final battles with Ansem and his pet demon.

5:23 - Rupert here. Still shaking a tad. After the Chernabog nightmare there was an enjoyable army to slaughter through before I was allowed access to the save point. I used an elixir - never a good thing, but success. And thus I passed to Nick to handle the first of the four final bosses, after some discussion of potions.

5:33 - Ansem the first beaten, his attacks included possession, and a giant laser beachball. Since the other two party members are only of use in the final boss, it's time to break out the big potions.

5:35 - Darkside faced and beaten down, in much the same fashion as always. Almost disappointing, but I wont be saying that to Nick. Although he does come with cool reach-into-ground attack.
On to Ansem two, with only Sora this time, and much the same attacks (so far). The lack of the others isn't making that much difference...
New attacks:
1 - Big blasts from the ground, seriously big, followed by
2 - huge fire cross shaped blast, then
3 - Firing himself across the arena cannonball style, then
4 - Nick dies.

5:41 - Second attempt, looking much more promising... spoke too soon, but we're slowly getting there. At least Nick is. I'm not hugely looking forward to being offered a turn, so I'm quite happy to blog for once.

7.04 - Having realized that our characters are too weak to complete the game, we load up Jen's save and bet up World of Chaos. Technically, this means we completed it and end sequence has been watched.

The End.

Current Location: Norwich, Norfolk
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
Current Music: KH BGM

(12 comments | Leave a comment)


[User Picture]
Date:July 25th, 2008 08:42 pm (UTC)
that sounds like so.much.fun........
[User Picture]
Date:July 26th, 2008 07:46 am (UTC)
Indeed it is. Except possibly the sleep deprivation, and having to watch Rupert fleeing from Ursula like a coward. Again and again...
[User Picture]
Date:July 27th, 2008 12:39 pm (UTC)
We had an Atlantica duck, but the little wheel-thingies fell off.
[User Picture]
Date:July 27th, 2008 07:00 pm (UTC)
I'll have to take your word on that...
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Test, just a test

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